Poor Muriel Kramer.
It’s difficult enough to be the lone voice of reason, but must she also be forced to endure a persistent stream of condescending lectures from the two men on her left? Board members Shahidul Mannan and Irfan Nasrullah have elevated mansplaining to an art form.
Ever notice that when Mr. Mannan speaks it’s never quick? The Chair-apparent’s motto seems to be “why use 10 words when 50 will do?” He steals five minutes of oxygen from the rest of us, rambling until the semblance of a question eventually forms.
And though we all benefit from Nasrullah’s brevity (and frequent absence), he can be equally insufferable at times.
But our pain is inconsequential compared to Muriel’s, who on Tuesday night sat quietly, crossing and uncrossing her arms as Mannan and Nasrullah told her how things really are during the chief’s performance review.
As is customary, Kramer afforded her colleagues the opportunity to speak first before claiming the floor herself. But to everyone’s great surprise, instead of the chief answering her questions, Mannan and Nasrullah repeatedly interjected.
For example, in reference to Porter’s victim’s private information being leaked by the police department:
Muriel (to the chief): What have we done from January to April to make sure our processes are corrected and we never make a mistake like that again?
Mannan: “I think a point of order as well…one, we cannot talk about the details, however, I checked with the lawyer and we can share facts that are universal and prevalent. One fact that we learned is…”
And he went on for several minutes explaining his point of view, while the chief sat silently. And then they moved on. Question asked, not answered.
Since when is this kind of cross talk and censorship from other Select Board members allowed? The question was clearly directed at the chief and to no one else.
Even Bennett got in on the let’s talk down to Muriel act. “There are things I can’t tell you…” and “You know why, Ms. Kramer…,” he said at various times, in a deeply condescending tone.
I felt like screaming “she’s not dumb, you know!”
For his part, Nasrullah showed a disturbing lack of respect for the role of the Chair, something he would have never tolerated when he occupied the position. Twice on Tuesday he attempted to shut Kramer down and advance the meeting, knowing full well that it is the privilege of the Chair to decide what is discussed and when. “You’ve made your point. Next agenda item,” he snapped at Kramer. Discussion over.
Nor did Mannan or Nasrullah admonish Chief Bennett for his attacks on Ms. Kramer, which were decidedly personal, in spite of him accusing her of the same. Of course, all narcissists think they’re the aggrieved party (see Trump).
(For the record, Kramer’s questions to Bennett were fair, objective, unsurprising, and in the public interest. They were also within the scope of his goals and performance review. Asking someone if they show up to work is not a personal question. Asking why they didn’t meet a commitment is not personal. Watch the film and judge for yourself.)
Indeed, Nasrullah must not remember the events of January 19, when an attendee at public forum accused him of falling asleep on the dais and Kramer immediately jumped down their throat, forcefully reminding the audience to respect her fellow board member. “We won’t have this,” she said. I guess that’s a sword that doesn’t cut both ways.
But the most bothersome part is the little woman act that Mannan and Nasrullah frequently play with Kramer. Even a casual viewer will observe that she runs circles around them from a work ethic standpoint. She shows up prepared while they “wing it”, offering no serious line of questioning. By assuming a need to explain something uninvited, Mannan and Nasrullah disregard Muriel’s autonomy and self-determination, treating her as if she couldn’t possibly understand the topic without their unsolicited explanation.
Town Hall, and indeed most corporations, offer sensitivity training to combat this kind of disrespectful behavior. Perhaps Mannan and Nasrullah should consider attending.
Peter Thomas is the publisher and editor-in-chief of HopNews.
Agreed! That is exactly what I just commented on the HI. As a woman, watching this yesterday made my stomach turn. I was appalled at their behavior toward Kramer. No respect! Where’s the recall paper?
Sign the RECALL STATEMENTS!!
SATURDAY: 7:30a – 11:30a outside St. John’s Church, 20 Church St.
SUNDAY: 9-noon Sandy Beach.
Please bring any registered voter who hasn’t already signed.
TAKE BACK OUR TOWN!!!
Thank you, Peter. Mansplaining was exactly the term I was thinking as I watched their demeaning, discounting, disrespectful retorts to Muriel, often overriding and interrupting her with useless remarks. Her thorough work ethic and brilliant, steadfast, and courageous questioning and worthy comments deserve great respect and honoring. Look how few are willing to do this.
Both of those men should go back to the 1950’s. Muriel is doing her job as Select Person, perhaps both of the guys should take a page out of her book. And yes, Nasrullah, WE ALL KNOW YOU’RE A LAWYER! Are your closings taking too much time to prepare for the meetings that you WERE ELECTED to? Oh and by the way Mary Jo and Amy…why can’t you show a glimmer of respect for Muriel? The four of you need to go away.
LTR….People had manners in the 1950s, especially in Hopkinton and the Boston area. These two should go back to the 1800s, and YES, all four of them need to go somewhere, “away” would be a good start.
It also looked like Irfan rolled his eyes after Steve Snow spoke during public comment. From what I saw and have continued to see, I think Shahidul is completely uncomfortable with confrontation. He panics and just wants to make everything ok. Well everything is not ok and sometimes we have to operate outside of our comfort zones. He was pointing out all the nuance in this situation that the chief has been in over the past 18 months, yet failed to see the nuance that Brennan was in. Irfan seems to be completely arrogant and egotistical and they all probably resent Muriel at this point for being the golden star because it has shone a spotlight on the rest of them being asleep at the switch and totally incapable or unwilling to fulfill their roles.
It is quite stunning how little of substance Nasrullah brings to the table each and every meeting. Absent or present, his contribution is pretty much the same.
Those two “men”are disgusting.
I’m sorry, but let’s try to use a little more emotional intelligence here, or at the very least, more suitable adjectives. The slurs “disgusting” and “gross” are WAY overused on the socials, etc. If you don’t like their behavior, actions, or are triggered by them, feel free to communicate why but it’s best to be specific about it rather than slandering them. Are you adding value to the discussion here, or just ticked off and venting because if it’s the latter, no on cares.
Thank you for bring attention to this publicly. These two men were rude to interrupt Muriel when she had every right as a representative of the people of Hopkinton to be asking the chief these questions and as residents we deserve actual answers. As a matter of fact the chief himself was rude and condescending to Muriel also. At one point he implied her friendship with Tim was reason for her to recuse herself from some of these matters! Are you kidding me… if that was the case then the chief probably should have recused himself from everything relating to his buddy over over 20 years case and all matters pertaining to it. Give me a break. The bottom line is Muriel is the only one who was brave enough to ask tough questions. Questions the chief essential couldn’t give good answers to and when he got flustered the other 3 board members rushed to help him as if he is not a grown man in a power of position. Do better Hopkinton. We need to vote in members who equally respect men and women on every platform.
Sign the recalls. The SB needs some fresh faces and ideas. Thank you Muriel for all you have done to create some transparency with regards to what has been going on with the HPD.