Miley is a twelve-year-old retired Doggie Detective. She loves retirement. She has, after twelve years of careful negotiation, managed to reduce her daily responsibilities to a nap, a walk, a second nap, dinner, and a spirited campaign to repossess the couch.
Miley remains a svelte thirty-four pounds and looks to be a dachshund-beagle mix — a breed some call a Beaschund, others call a Doxie, and Miley calls irrelevant. She was adopted as a puppy from 3 Dog Rescue in Maine (www.3dogsrescue.com).
Security Detail, Couch Policy, and the Pesky Amazon Driver
Miley still runs a tight operation. She sleeps until approximately 3 P.M., which she considers a reasonable start for any self-respecting retiree. She then logs a two-mile walk — fully coiffed with her brown eyes expertly lined, scanning the perimeter. As a result, she draws admiring looks from the neighborhood.
After her walk, she takes a restorative beauty nap, followed by dinner. Then comes the main event: sustained barking until every human has vacated the couch so she can retire for the evening. A girl needs her beauty rest, after all.
Her most pressing issue of the day involves Amazon delivery drivers, whom she has identified as the primary threat to household security. Despite her telling them in no uncertain terms that they are NOT welcome, they keep popping up unannounced. Thanks to her covert surveillance, the family remains unharmed.
Field Work and Forensics
She is occasionally called in as an expert consultant. Miley answers — eventually, after she finishes her nap. She is fearless in chasing snakes (eww!) and deer.
She has also conducted extensive forensic investigations of the living room floor. In particular, she moves furniture with focused determination to locate crumbs, ancient chew toys, and items that have not seen the light of day since 2019.
Her retrieval skills are notable. She brings beautiful gifts, including a toad and a baby mouse, unharmed. She deposits them at her family’s feet with the quiet dignity of someone who expects a reward. Then she waits for a reward, looking her absolute cutest. Typically, her family fails to appreciate her gifts. She naps anyway.
Her Daily Promenade
Miley is available for admiration on her daily walks through Hopkinton, where she patrols in style, graciously accepts compliments, and occasionally stops to survey the situation.
Like all self-respecting dogs, she enjoys treats and hates the vet. Despite her retiree status, Miley continues to protect the home and enforce bedtimes. She also solves cold cases in the kitchen, all while looking fabulous. Well, she does all that when she’s awake.
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