one of my recent psychotherapy sessions one of my very
astute clients asked me to write an article on guilt.
“You know guilt must be the heart of depression and lack
of confidence, I wish you could write down the formula
that would lead to being guilt free”. Although I don’t
think that guilt is the only variable contributing to a
low mood I do believe that excessive guilt destroys a
person’s spirit, and often leads to a constant fear of
making mistakes and displeasing other people.
The Origin of Guilt
We hopefully develop a sense of guilt as children when
we act in ways that are unkind to others, we are
reprimanded, and we realize that hurting others causes
an uncomfortable feeling within us and within others. We
are in essence becoming socialized so that we can
participate in relationships with respect and empathy.
We know that everyone is born with the capacity for
empathy and as we are exposed to empathic interactions
we can gradually place ourselves in the experience of
other people, thus when those close to us are hurt we
We experience pain, we bang our knee or hit our
head when we fall, and we can see in the eyes of a
caring parent that they feel for us and ultimately we
learn to feel for others in the same way. What if
however, our parents hold us responsible for their
actions and we learn to feel overly responsible for
other people. Narcissistic parents are noted for blaming
their children for their distress, and thus their
children become adults who feel overly connected to
other people’s distress. As a result they attach
themselves to people who tend to blame. Blamers attract
guilty people like honey attracts bees.
On March 1, 2014, Baypath will
host its 2nd Annual Fur Ball. Last year’s was so
much fun that we’ve decided to kick our heels up
once again to a live band. Silent auction and
raffles also will be featured as well as a cash bar.
So make sure to plan on attending Fur Ball 2014 from
7:00 pm to midnight at Indian Meadows’ Acacia in
Arrest/Incident Log - Updated February 5, 2014
Monday, February 3, 2014
Scott vanRaalten arrested Nicola Buckley, 36, of
Thurston Lane, Ashland, on East Main Street and
charged her with Speeding and OUI Liquor.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Linda Higgins assisted the Southborough Police
Department at their station.
Middleboro Police Department reported a civil
dispute between two individuals related to a
Fruit Street address.
caller from East Main Street reported that a
neighbor observed someone run through his
parents' back yard.
Peter Booth checked and spoke with the operator
of a motor vehicle in a Hayden Rowe Street
911 caller from Lincoln Street reported that two
cars pulled up in front of his house then drove
off. Officer Peter Booth checked the area and
advised that the vehicle was gone upon his
Ash Street resident reported that a neighbor was
doing outside construction in violation of town
by-laws. Officer Aaron O'Neil responded and
spoke with the individual.
Scott vanRaalten assisted with traffic while the
Highway Department repaired pot holes on West
trash truck operator reported that he could not
get by a low hanging wire on Woodland Road. The
telephone company was notified.
officers responded to South Street to assist
with a motor vehicle accident without personal
caller reported a three car motor vehicle
accident without personal injury on Main Street.
Two officers responded and wrote up a report.
caller from Colonial Avenue reported that his
girlfriend left a restaurant at 10:00pm and he
was unable to determine whether she made it home
safely or not. The resident was contacted and
Monday, February 3, 2014
Scott vanRaalten stopped a motor vehicle on East
Main Street and subsequently arrested a 36
year-old female from Ashland and charged her
with Speeding and OUI Liquor.
on South Street reported unwanted snow boarders
on private property. A plow truck driver spoke
with the snow boarders who then took off.
Highway Department needed a car moved so that
they could remove snow on John Matthew Road. The
owner was contacted and advised to move the
resident of Huckleberry Road reported that she
changed the batteries in her CO detector and it
was still going off. Officer Peter Booth
responded and advised that it was a faulty
motorist reported that she was stuck in a bad
spot on Winter Street. Officer William Burchard
responded to assist and put down a few flares.
caller reported that he was just rear ended on
Fruit Street. Officer William Burchard responded
and wrote a report.
caller reported that a motor vehicle hit a
guardrail on Wood Street. Two officers responded
and advised that there was no personal injury.
Ashland Police Department requested officers be
on the look out for a tractor trailer unit with
NJ plates that was just involved in a hit and
run motor vehicle accident in their town.
Officer William Burchard checked the area to the
town line with a negative find.
Patrick O'Brien assisted a disabled motor
vehicle on West Main Street.
Gregg DeBoer responded to a two car motor
vehicle accident without personal injury on
Hayden Rowe Street.
caller reported that a young female was
attempting to change a flat tire on Hidden Brick
Road. Officer David Shane responded and spoke
with the operator who stated that she hit three
mailboxes and already made arrangements to
motorist reported that he hit a telephone pole
on Hayden Rowe Street. Officer David Shane
responded and advised that there was no apparent
damage to the pole.
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February 5, 2014 — David
Dockstader gains a mechanical advantage by using the
Snow Wolf, or Wovel as it is also called, to move
the heaviest snow from around his Park Street
property this morning. He said the final action of
moving the snow is to push down, rather than lift up
as with a traditional shovel, avoiding back
problems. And although the contraption looks like it
was discovered lying around the basement of his
antique home, it was purchased new one year ago.
February 5, 2014 — This llama's
fur coat has a coat of snow to keep it even warmer
as it enjoys some hay on Pond Street this morning,
while the falling snow gives the photo the texture
of a pencil drawing.
W E L L N E S S
February 5, 2014 — The Lake
Whitehall Dam Gate House on Highland Street provides
an anchor for the rest of the period design; the
faux wrought iron, as well as the wooden guard
rails. The Gate House was used when the
previous dam was beneath the roadway, and in the
place of the current dam was water. The dam
gave way several years ago and was rebuilt at its
current location, away from the roadway.
FOOD AND BEVERAGE <
Selectmen Open Town Meeting
February 5, 2014 — Selectmen
Tuesday evening opened the Town Meeting Warrant as
required by the Hopkinton Town Charter, entertained resignations from 300th Anniversary Committee
members, granted a manager change for Woodville Rod
and Gun Club, and heard from Bob Levinson regarding
the work of the Police Chief Search Committee. More
about this later on Wednesday.
The board also informed the public that Hopkinton's
Chief Financial Officer Christopher Ketchen was
chosen by the three-member Select Board of Lenox,
Mass to be their next Town Manager. According to a
story in the The Berkshire Eagle, he and the board
will be entering contract negotiations. It was
during this phase last summer that negotiations
broke down with their previous pick, starting the
process over, according to the story.
Number One, on Two Counts
February 4, 2014 — Nicholas
Manning, a Marlborough resident, is the first
Assabet Valley Regional Tech student to pass his
Mass State Inspector's License test while still
attending school. According to Hopkinton Sunoco
owner Jerry Lazzaro, the 18 year-old is also the
youngest person ever to have passed the test under
"I sent him to school to get his license," said Mr.
Lazzaro. "He works here on Co-op; one week on and
one week off."
The two worked like a duet on this 1999 Toyota above
that Nicholas is applying a sticker to. Mr. Larrazo
gets in the driver's seat and turns on the lights
while Nick is behind the vehicle.
"Yup," says Nick . Mr. Lazzaro applies the
brakes. "Yup." Then the left directional. "Yup." The
Then off to the front of the vehicle and the
ritual is repeated with the lights, wipers and horn.
Nick checks the tie rods and ball joints while Mr.
Lazzaro works at the driver's area, presumably to
hook up the computer. No more tube in the exhaust
pipe, or heaven forbid, the short -lived contraption
that the Registry once required to bring the vehicle
up to 30 mph on a roller system while standing
Hopkinton Sunoco and Lumber Street Auto are two
automotive service centers who support HopNews and
offer inspection stickers, as well as all of the
things that make a vehicle safe, like tires, brakes
Robert Terrence Nealon Jr. (70)
Robert Terrence Nealon Jr. (70)
of Pocasset, Massachusetts died on Monday, February 3,
2014, a result of a sudden stroke. Known as “Terry”by
friends and family and “Bob” by his many business
colleagues, he was born in Brownwood, Texas on October
20, 1943 and grew up in Hopkinton MA, the son of the
late Robert T. and Mary B. Nealon. He was a graduate of
Marian High School (Framingham) and Boston College. He
served proudly in the United States Army as a Captain
The Army Commendation Medal and The National Defense
Service Medal. He held several successful leadership
positions at GE, Sanders Associates, Digital Equipment
Corp, Information Mapping Inc., Genuity, GTECH Corp, and
his own independent consulting business. His successful
career was a direct result of his compassionate
leadership and deep respect for his team members and
colleagues. Civic-minded and always eager to get
involved in things he believed in, he held many
leadership positions in various social activities
throughout his life. He treated his recent involvement
as the President of the Pocasset Village Association
with great pride.
He is predeceased by his
loving wife of 44 years, Roberta A. Nealon and is
survived by his three sons and daughters in-law; Robert
and Jennifer of Uxbridge MA, Joseph and Annette of
Hopkinton MA, Jon and Jenny Raskin of Brooklyn, NY. His
proudest achievements were his ten loving grandchildren;
Robert Nealon, Allie Wertz, Mary Nealon, Michael Nealon,
Leslie Nealon, Grace Nealon, Charlie Nealon, Lucas
Nealon, Tess Nealon Raskin and Bruno Nealon Raskin. He
is also survived by his loving companion of four years,
Andrea Hallion of Southborough MA.
In addition, he is survived by
his devoted siblings; J. Timothy and Jeanne Nealon, Ann
Click, Pamela and Jim Langenbach, Kathy Nealon,
Elizabeth and Ralph Edwards, Thomas and Anne Nealon,
John and Lorraine Nealon and Sister-In-Law Irene DeSisto.
He was devoted to his loving family which included
numerous nephews, nieces, grandnephews and grandnieces
A funeral Mass will be
celebrated Friday, February 7 at 3:30 p.m.in St. John
the Evangelist Church, 20 Church Street, Hopkinton,
MA. Calling hours at the Callanan
Cronin Funeral Home, 34 Church Street, Hopkinton
will be Thursday, February 6 from 3:00 to -7:00 p.m.
An interment will be held at the Massachusetts National
Cemetery in Bourne on Monday, February 10.
For those that wish to,
donations may be made to the American Stroke Association
be advised that EL Harvey will postpone Wednesday's
(February 5) trash collection until Thursday due to
the snowstorm that is forecast. This will not affect
Thursday or Friday's collection schedule; those days
will remain as scheduled.
John K. Westerling
Director of Public Works
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A Letter From Hopkinton High
Dear Hopkinton Community Member,
you interested in helping our high school students learn
about the real world of work?
In an effort to support our students
on the path to become college and career ready we are
exploring community service and internship
would allow our students to actively participate in
possible career interests, discover their likes and
dislikes, and gain some experience in the workplace.
Today, colleges are increasingly
interested in students who have completed meaningful
community service projects and/or who may have explored
career options through informational interviewing, job
shadowing and/or internships.
The HHS School Council is looking
for adults in our community who are willing to be
contacted by a high school student to learn about the
type of work they do and in some cases provide an
opportunity for a student to job shadow for a half or
full day. We are also looking for people who would
consider hosting a student for a community service
project or an internship.
Can you help? Please respond to
HHS-School-Council@hopkinton.k12.ma.us with your
interest and to learn more.Please
include your name, job title, email address and phone
Thank you for helping our students
explore opportunities outside of the classroom.
Hopkinton High School Principal
February 4, 2014
FOOD AND BEVERAGE <
2014 TVL CONFERENCE CHAMPIONS
Scheman, Ashley Windheuser, Spencer Franklin,
Amanda Karpacz, and Catherine Cote hold the TVL
Conference Championship trophy with members of
For the fourth year in a row,
the Hopkinton Swimming and Diving Team won the TVL
Conference Meet held at Wheaton College on Sunday
morning. The combined scores of the girls and boys
was over 400 points ahead of second place Medfield.
Winners on the day included Spencer Franklin(50
freestyle), Renee Salois(diving), Bridget
Coffey(breaststroke), Reece Donahue(diving),
Victoria Feng(200 i.m., Backstroke), Greg Reimonn
(backstroke), and Andrew Madigan(breaststroke).
Hopkinton also won four of the six relay events.
As a testament to the depth of this year's team,
90% of the competitors from the Hiller's squad
scored at least one point in the meet.
Members of the girls and boys
team will now focus on the Sectional meet held this
weekend, and the State championships the following
Photo by Evan Lowell
W E L L N E S S
Wrong Way Driver Arrested on Route 93
Plow truck ends wrong-way driving
Massachusetts State Police
charged a Rhode Island woman with operating under the
influence, negligent operation of a motor vehicle, and
other offenses after she drove the wrong way up Route 93
from Quincy to Boston early this morning, causing one
crash before finally crashing into a snow plow and
coming to a stop.
investigation indicates that BRENDA JARILLO, 33, of
Rumford, R.I., was operating a 2012 Mini northbound on
the southbound side of Route 93 shortly after 3:30 a.m.,
causing a 2000 Honda CRV operated by an East Boston man
to spin out of control and collide with the median
barrier. That driver, Francisco Lopez, 42, was
transported to Quincy Medical Center with non-life
indicates that JARILLO continued to drive north on the
southbound side until it struck a Massachusetts
Department of Transportation snow plow, a 2007 Ford F350
truck operated by a 52-year-old DOT employee, and came
to a stop. Troopers took JARILLO, whom they determined
was under the influence of liquor, into custody. She was
charged with the following offenses:
1. OUI Liquor;
2. Negligent Operation;
3. Resisting Arrest;
4. Assault and Battery on
a Police Officer;
5. State Highway Wrong Way
6. Assault with a
7. Marked Lanes Violation;
8. Failure to Stop for
JARILLO is additionally
charged with leaving the scene of a personal injury
crash in connection to the first crash she caused in
Quincy. She was transported from the South Boston
Barracks to Dorchester Court for arraignment today.
The DOT plow driver was not
injured. According to DOT officials, he was trying to
help stop the wrong way vehicle by sounding his horn and
flashing all his lights at the time of the crash. His
name is not being released by State Police.
Hopkinton Police Chief Search
Committee to Recommend That all Four Remaining
Candidates Meet Selectmen
Four Still in Running for Hopkinton Top Cop Job - Two
Two are from the Department,
from left, Interim Chief Charles Wallace and Sgt.
Joseph Bennett; two are from outside the department,
Captain Edward Lee of Woonsocket, Rhode Island
Police Department and Lt. Thomas Lynch of the Franklin, Mass Police Department.
According to Bob Levenson, Chairman of the Police
Chief Search Committee, the decision to recommend
all four candidates was unanimous.
“We were told by an
experienced consultant that if we had a difficult
time deciding, then we did our job. Well, we had a
hard time deciding; however, we all agree that any
one of the four candidates would be an excellent
choice for chief."
Chairman Levenson will brief the Board of Selectmen
at the next Selectmen meeting on February 4th.
Casino-Free Milford Donates to
Casino Free Milford donated $4478 to Milford Regional
Medical Center for a new behavioral health program,
Interface, that connects Milford youth to a behavioral
In photo left to right: Martin
Richman, executive director, Milford Regional Health
Care Foundation; Steve Trettel and John Seaver,
co-chairs of Casino Free Milford, and Ellen Freedman,
manager, Milford Regional Community Benefits. ~
Sandra E. Darney, 72
Sandra E. Darney, 72, of Hopkinton,
passed away at her home on Friday,January
31, 2014. Born in Worcester, she was the daughter of
(Yegian) and Stephen Demerjian. She was the wife of
B. Darney who died on July 11, 2012.
Sandra grew up in Milford where she was a graduate
of Milford HighSchool.
She attended Anna Maria College and graduated with a
Her teaching career began in Milford before she
twenty years as a 6th grade teacher in Hopkinton.
Spratt Award for Outstanding Massachusetts Social
of the Year was a true testament to her excellence
Following Sandra's retirement, she delighted in
her grandchildren, who were her light and joy. She
at her home on Cape Cod.
She is survived by her children, Stephen C. Darney
and his wife Kathy ofThomaston,
Maine and their children Kalen and Stephen Conor and
and her husband Philip of Franklin and their
children William andAnya.
She also leaves a brother, Richard Demerjian of
Visitation will be held on Thursday, February 6th
from 4-7p.m. at theChesmore
Funeral Home of Hopkinton, 57 Hayden RoweSt.
A funeral mass will be celebrated at11:00
a.m. on Friday at St. John the Evangelist Church in
services at Bourne National Cemetery will be at theconvenience
of the family. In lieu of flowers, donations may be
memory to Friends of the Hopkinton Seniors, 28
Mayhew St. Hopkinton,MA
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February 3, 2014 — Overcooked popcorn in a microwave
oven set off a smoke alarm at the high school this
afternoon, triggering an evacuation of students into the
falling snow. The Hopkinton Fire Department responded,
made sure things were safe to proceed, and cleared
Arrest/Incident Log - Updated February 3, 2014
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Stephen Buckley arrested Brian J. Sulfaro, 32, of
Fruit Street, Hopkinton, on Fruit Street for a
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Matthew McNeil advised that he removed a 55 gallon
drum from the roadway on South Street.
motorist reported an erratic operator on East Main
Street. The Ashland Police Department was notified.
Gregg DeBoer assisted a disabled motor vehicle on
911 caller reported a fire alarm activation at a
residence on Pleasant Street. Officer Patrick
O'Brien responded to assist the Fire Department.
Stephen Buckley assisted with the installation of a
car seat on Main Street.
caller reported that there was a suspicious male on
a South Street property. Officer Stephen Buckley
checked the area with a negative find on anyone
were two 911 calls regarding an elderly woman who
looked lost and confused walking on Wood Street.
Officer Thomas Griffin responded and transported her
back to her residence.
Patrick O'Brien checked on a disabled motor vehicle
on East Main Street.
resident of Winter Street reported finding a lost
dog in his yard. The owner was contacted and
responded to pick up the animal.
Hayden Rowe Street resident reported ongoing
construction in violation of town by-laws. Officer
Thomas Griffin responded and shut the crew down for
School Street resident reported finding a dog on his
deck. The owner was located and advised to pick up
caller from Claflin Street reported that she and
some dance students were staying at a studio
overnight and they believed that there was someone
inside the building knocking on the door. Two
officers responded and advised that it was just a
student who got locked in the bathroom.
Scott vanRaalten checked a vehicle that was parked
on Rafferty Road with no one around it.
John Moran spoke with an individual on Lumber Street
who was removing personal property from a work
Saturday, February 1, 2014
walk-in from Smith Road reported that a neighbor had
a small campfire behind their house. Officer Peter
Booth responded with the Fire Department and advised
that the flame was coming from a small tiki torch.
Matthew McNeil assisted a disabled motor vehicle on
West Main Street.
callers reported that there was a dead coyote on the
side of West Main Street. The Highway Department was
notified to pick up the animal.
caller reported that there was a dead dog on the
side of West Main Street. Officer Stephen Buckley
checked the area with a negative find.
walk-in from Davis Road reported that they just
locked their keys in their vehicle. Officer Patrick
O'Brien responded to assist.
Patrick O'Brien assisted a disabled motor vehicle on
walk-in reported that a man on Chestnut Street
looked like he was arguing with a woman. Two
officers spoke with both individuals involved and
advised that it was only a verbal argument.
officers responded to Fruit Street to serve an
individual court paper work and subsequently
arrested a 32 year old male from Hopkinton for a
caller reported suspicious activity on Falcon Ridge
Friday, January 31, 2014
caller reported what she believed to be an underage
drinking party on Baker Lane. Three officers
responded and stated that the area had been cleared
out upon their arrival.
Peter Booth checked and spoke with the operator of a
motor vehicle on West Main Street.
911 caller reported that a vehicle was off of the
roadway on Westcott Drive. Three officers responded
and issued the operator a written warning for
William Burchard checked and spoke with the operator
of a motor vehicle on Wood Street.
Peter Booth spoke with the operator of a motor
vehicle on West Main Street.
resident of Price Street reported that a solicitor,
who was selling beef in a white truck, was at his
house earlier. Officer Matthew McNeil checked the
area for the vehicle with a negative find.
caller reported that a strange vehicle was parked in
a driveway on Pheasant Hill and believed that the
residents were away. Officer Stephen Buckley
responded and advised that it was a painter doing
Stephen Buckley checked the area of Hayden Rowe
Street for a disabled motor vehicle with a negative
were multiple 911 calls for a two car motor vehicle
accident without personal injury on South Street.
Two officers responded and wrote a report.
caller reported that a dog on Cross Street had been
barking non stop for hours. Officer Stephen Buckley
responded and spoke with the owner.
Jacob Campbell issued a written warning to an
operator on Hayden Rowe Street.
W E L L N E S S
Air Fund Needs Host Families
Make this Valentine’s Day extra
special for your family and give them the gift of
friendship with a Fresh Air child! Each summer, over
4,000 inner-city children visit suburban, rural and
small town communities across 13 states from Virginia to
Maine and Canada through The Fresh Air Fund’s Volunteer
Host Family Program. This summer, join volunteer host
families in the Hopkinton, MA area who open their hearts
and homes to New York City children.
“We love sharing the wonders of
lightening bugs, playing in the backyard, and swimming
with our Fresh Air friend!” says Liz, a Fresh Air host.
Fresh Air children are boys and
girls, from six to 18 years old, who live in New York
City. Children on first-time visits are six to 12 years
old and stay for one or two weeks. Children who are
reinvited by host families may continue with The Fresh
Air Fund through age 18 and can enjoy extended trips.
Families find hosting so rewarding that more than 65
percent of all Fresh Air children are invited to visit
the same host families year after year. Through the eyes
of Fresh Air children, families often rediscover the
beauty of their own communities.
The Fresh Air Fund, an
independent, not-for-profit agency, has provided free
summer experiences to more than 1.8 million New York
City children from low-income communities since 1877.
For more information on hosting a Fresh Air child this
summer, please contact Theresa Kane at or visit The
Fresh Air Fund online at www.freshair.org.
February 3, 2014 —
Boston College sophomore and Hopkinton resident Teddy
Doherty expects to defend last year's Beanpot title
tonight against rival Boston University. BC is having
another strong hockey season and currently sits as the
#2 ranked team in the country per national polling.
Teddy has 2 goals and 7 assists and a +8 rating so far
this season. ~ Contributed.
Pre-Super Bowl Salsa
February 2, 2014 — Water Fresh Farm marketplace held
their first Annual Salsa Cook-off today, as voters
picked up ballots and voted their favorite, among the
competing six teams, according to appearance,
spice and taste. The best overall salsa was a recipe by
Sabine St. Pierre of the Hopkinton Moms Club, above,
accepting First Place prize from Jeff Barton of Water
Fresh Farm Marketplace. It was all or nothing, as the
other teams won no Top Tomato prize. Below,
thirteen year-old Andrew Dykema and mom, State Rep
Carolyn Dykema, mix up their best; and below that,
WCVB-TV Channel 5 reporter Jack Harper is assisted by
his eight year-old daughter Laine.
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"X" Marks the Spot
February 2, 2014 — A paper birch photographed today on