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Interim Chef


December 15, 2013 — Charles Wallace is the Interim Police Chief, and helps, with his wife Dorothy Ferriter-Wallace, serve seniors at the Senior Dinner on Saturday.
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Local Moguls


December 15, 2013 —  They may look like ski moguls from an expert trail up north, but they are simply rocks covered by the overnight snowfall at Hopkinton State Park.

 

Massachusetts State Police Media Release--121413--Safe Winter Driving Reminders

 

   With the first major storm of the 2013-14 Winter driving season on our doorstep, the Massachusetts State Police provides the following safe driving reminders:

 

• Limit travel to only that which is necessary.

 

• Allow extra travel time and reduce speeds well below the posted limits.

 

• Leave additional space between you and other vehicles.

 

• Clear snow from all vehicle windows.

 

• Clear accumulated snow from roofs, hoods, trunks and truck beds to reduce the possibility of blowing snow interfering with other motorists.

 

• Avoid passing or tailgating plows and sanders.

 

• If you become disabled on a roadway, activate your emergency flashers (hazard lights) to warn oncoming vehicles.

 

• Always travel with a fully charged cell phone to call 911 in an emergency.

YOUR HOME
 

Let it Snow
Please enjoy this reprise of a HopNews exclusive of the enigmatic and reclusive
Clayton Willoughby performing a classic tune during a fortuitous snowfall.

 
W E L L N E S S
Hopkinton at 11:30 pm


December 14, 2013 — The HopNews WebCam is alive and well, as this slightly brightened screenshot from 11:30 pm on Saturday can attest.  The link has been  moved to just below the masthead in the top left part of the top header.
      
 
To Protect and Serve... Dinner!

December 14, 2013 — Hopkinton's senior citizens were waited on this afternoon by Hopkinton Police Patrolman's Union Local 254 and past and present members of the Hopkinton Police Department and their families. Above, standing in the distance, Patrolman Patrick O'Brien emcees the festivities while the crew, standing far right, gets ready to serve the meal prepared by  TJ Spirits of Ashland. Officer O'Brien made a point of mentioning that the raffle prizes were donated by Colella's, Carbone's, The Golden Spoon and Weston Nurseries. Below, Kim Brennan, a Certified R.A.D. instructor, with her boys Ryan, left, and Jack, serving salads to seniors.

 

SERVICE GUIDE
  
 
   

REMINDER

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Checking it Twice


December 14, 2013 — Santa, sitting in the seat of Hopkinton Police Department Dispatcher Thomas Gorman, gets some help with directions to the homes of Hopkinton children from his elves today on his way to the Police Department's holiday party at the station, as he looked at his list to see who is naughty or nice. Below, Santa and his elves pose with some of the youngest children and grandchildren of the police officers, who he determined were all nice.

 

Father Gerard G. Furlan SX., 82

 

Holliston - The United States Province of Xaverian Missionaries mourns the death of Father Gerard G. Furlan SX., 82 years old. Fr. Gerry, as he was affectionately called, entered Eternal Life to encounter his Lord on Wednesday, December 11, 2013 at UMass University Hospital in Worcester. On Tuesday morning, December 10th, while walking on the Shrine grounds he fell backwards and hit his head very hard on the asphalt.  Fr. Gerry was in a coma from which he never recovered. He remained unconscious throughout the day. Fr. Francis gave Fr. Gerry the last rites. Throughout the day he was surrounded by his confreres, the Xaverian sisters and Tara one of our friends. Together with Fr. Tony we kept Fr. Gerry company praying the Psalms and then the Office for the Dead. His heart stopped beating at 1:54am on Wednesday, December 11, 2013.

Fr. Gerry was born in the province of Vicenza, in Northern Italy in 1931. He joined the Xaverian Missionaries in 1946 and made his first profession of religious vows in 1951. He was sent to the United States to complete his studies in Theology and was ordained to the missionary priesthood in Franklin,WI in 1958. He was Treasurer of the Xaverian Franklin community from 1958-67 and Vice-Rector 1959-1961.

In 1967 he was assigned to Indonesia; where he served as teacher and assistant pastor in in Pekambaru and Padang, two towns located on the Island of Sumatra. He returned to the United States in 1973 and served as the Treasurer of the Xaverian community of Holliston, MA from 1973- 1980.

He was assigned to serve in our mission of Sierra Leone, West Africa from 1980 to the year 2000. He was assistant pastor and teacher in Kabala (1980-1983), assistant pastor and then pastor in Magburaka (1984-1993), pastor in Lunsar (1993-1997) and finally pastor at Waterloo (1997-1999).

In 2000 he returned to Holliston, MA where he was once again Treasurer of Xaverian Community from 2005 till 2008. Besides serving the community he continued to be active in pastoral ministry to local parishes and especially to the Sisters at Bethany Health Care Center in Framingham until his death. He is survived by his brother Enoc and by nephews and nieces all living in Italy.

Fr. Joseph Metteucig SX, Rector of the Xaverian Missionaries community in Holliston recalls Fr. Gerry as “faithful worker of the Gospel. Whether here or in the missions, always an active, generous, serene, compassionate, and dedicated confrere. Available to help even in the most simple tasks. Like the Martha of the Gospel often working behind the scene making sure that things moved on smoothly. We will miss his faithful presence, his practical skills in the kitchen or in his garden. The Shrine will certainly miss his "Indonesian Hail Mary", his hot chocolate during the Christmas Lights, passing out the candles at the 13th of the Month gatherings and his creativity in painting the signs for league activities. Gerry, we are going to miss you, good and faithful servant of the Gospel. May God continue to reward you for all the simple and humble ways which helped us carry on our mission and our ministry here in Holliston. Thank you!”

Visitation will be at Fatima Shrine Church , 101 Summer St. Holliston on Sunday evening from 5:30 till 8:00pm. The Mass of Resurrection will be celebrated at the Shrine, Monday, December 16, at 10:30am followed by the burial in the Xaverian Community Cemetery.

The Furlan Family and the Xaverian Missionaries extend their gratitude to the many friends and benefactors who have walked with Fr. Gerry throughout his missionary life. We would like to thank the EMS and Police personnel of Holliston, the doctors and nurses at the UMASS University Hospital – Trauma Center in Worcester for their incredible kindness, attentions and assistance. In a special way, we want to thank the anonymous early morning pilgrim who found Fr. Gerry and called 911, enabling us to be with him till the end. To all of you our heartfelt gratitude and a promise to keep you and yours in our prayers.

May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. www.ChesmoreFuneralHome.com

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Inside and Out

December 13, 2013 — Weston Nurseries has permanent trees and anything anyone would want to decorate them or the rest of the house with, both inside and out, during this festive season. Check out the large, selection of fresh-cut Fraser Firs, the only kind of tree Weston Nurseries sells, because they stay moist and green and safe longer than other types. And don't forget Santa again this weekend and next:

 

VISIT SANTA AT WESTON NURSERIES THIS YEAR!

 

Saturday and Sunday

Dec 14 & 15, Dec 21 & 22

 

10 am to 12 noon and 1 pm to 3 pm

 

Free marshmallow roasting, mulled cider and cookies!

 

Dec 14: Due to the impending snowstorm, please call

the Garden Center on Sunday morning to make sure Santa will be in before you head out. (508) 435-3414

YOUR HOME
 

     Police Arrest/Incident Log
   Updated Friday, December 13, 2013

Summary

The Hopkinton Police were involved in the following incidents, which are not included in the detail report below.

1 Motor Vehicle/Person/Home Check.

4 Motor Vehicle Accidents without personal injury.

1 Disabled Motor Vehicle.

2 Times the Police assisted with an Animal Call.


Arrest Log

Thursday, December 12, 2013

10:28 pm Officer Peter Booth arrested David A. Swaney, 47, of Howard Lane, Lakeville, on Hayden Rowe Street and charged him with Marked Lanes Violation and OUI Liquor.


Incident Log

Thursday, December 12, 2013

9:57 pm A motorist reported that an erratic operator struck a telephone pole on West Main Street. Two officers responded and advised that there was personal injury. The patient was transported to the hospital.

9:47 pm A caller reported a motor vehicle accident with personal injury on West Main Street.

9:30 pm Officer Peter Booth stopped a motor vehicle on Hayden Rowe Street and subsequently arrested a 47 year-old male from Lakeville and charged him with Marked Lanes Violation and OUI Liquor, 2nd Offense.

4:39 pm A motorist reported that there was a small deer, possibly in distress, on the ice off of West Main Street. Officer Aaron O'Neil checked the area with a negative find.

9:12 am A caller from Meserve Street reported that there was a parked vehicle obstructing the driveway to his business. Officer David Shane responded and advised the owner to move it.

8:32 am A resident of Warmstone Way reported that exercise equipment was taken from his porch overnight. Officer David Shane responded and took a report.


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

6:07 pm A caller reported that a tractor trailer knocked down the traffic light on Main Street. Two officers responded and advised that the remaining traffic lights would support traffic flow until the DPW can responded in the morning.

12:36 pm A Greystone Lane resident reported that a hunter was on her property. Officer Gregg DeBoer responded and advised that the hunter was gone upon his arrival.

9:57 am A DPW employee reported that there was a lot of damage to the Fruit Street fields. Officer Patrick O'Brien responded and located the spot where the vehicle gained access. The DPW was notified and will take measures to prevent access in the future.

8:05 am A caller from Lakeshore Drive reported that two men were on the beach, with two trucks, removing wood. She was not sure if they were cutting down trees of removing dead wood. Officer Patrick O'Brien responded and spoke with both men who were delivering new bath houses.

      
 
Mysterious Crop Circles on Fruit Street Fields

December 13, 2013 — Actually, the headline makes light of a situation that should be not taken lightly. The above marks were made by one or more vehicles at the newest natural turf recreation field in Hopkinton at Fruit Street doing "donuts" on the grass field, damaging it severely.

          Parks and Recreation Director Jack Nealon said it will delay the Spring sports season measurably, because no work can be done until the ground thaws. The weight of the vehicles compressing the earth and tearing up the grass has inflicted damage that is difficult at best to repair.

           The investigation continues. The area where the vehicle entered has been identified, and steps have been taken to prevent further entry. In addition, some portable cameras could be deployed in some of the high-value assets of Parks and Rec where problems have occurred before, like Fruit Street and Sandy Beach.

            Investigating Officer Pat O'Brien was unavailable at the time of  this report. 

W E L L N E S S

Hopkinton Police Chief Search to Narrow to Five Candidates

 

From Town Manager Norman Khumalo

December 13, 2013 — The Police Chief Search Committee is pleased to announce that it continues to make significant progress toward its goal of finding a permanent Chief for Hopkinton.  The Committee’s activities to date have included a careful review of  the credentials of a pool of twenty (20) qualified applicants, the completion of a phone screen with applicants of interest, and the completion of an extensive face-to-face screening with a narrowed-down field of 10 candidates.  As a result, the Committee has determined that 5 candidates will be invited back to continue in the process.  This will consist of another interview with the Search Committee as well as participation in an assessment center to further determine the candidate's’ capacity to fill the role of Police Chief.

 

"We are very pleased with the Committee’s progress to date, and also pleased with the quality of candidates we have met," said Bob Levenson, Chair of the Committee.  "From the outset, one of our goals was to make this a fair and well-planned process, designed to bring in a Chief who will be the best long-term fit for Hopkinton.  Bob also stated that, “We have been leveraging the unique background of each Committee member to ensure an effective decision-making process is maintained.  Committee members’ experience includes Law Enforcement, Municipal Government, Human Resources, the Military, Private Industry, and the Hopkinton community.  This has enabled us to assess the candidates from a wide and varied perspective."  Levenson said that Committee members were especially pleased that they were able to include the voice of the Hopkinton Police Department in the interviews.  "In order to help inform the process we reached out to the Hopkinton PD to provide some input," said Levenson. "As a result, two of the questions asked of each candidate during the first screening session came directly from that input.  We anticipate using that input to formulate additional questions for the second round interviews."

 

The Committee, which consists of Levenson (a 13-year Hopkinton resident, Chair of the Personnel Committee and member of the Marathon Committee), John Mosher (an 18-year Hopkinton resident and Chair of the Board of Selectmen). Norman Khumalo (Town Manager), Debbie Hilton-Creek (Director of Human Resources), and John Moore (Chief of Holliston Police), expects to recommend final candidates to the Board of Selectmen early next month.  

SERVICE GUIDE
  
 
   

 Hopkinton Chamber of Commerce Picks Two Favorites to Fete


December 12, 2013 — It was all about the love on Thursday evening as the Hopkinton Chamber of Commerce paid tribute, above, to Town of Hopkinton Treasurer/Collector Maureen Dwinnell and member of the Board of Assessors, Dr. John Duffy for their "Decades of dedicated service to the Town of Hopkinton."
Each also served apart from one another as members of the Board of Selectmen. Below, Dr. Bruce Karlin plays violin as Amanda Maffei plays piano and sings, as does her son, Sam, who also brought along his trumpet to the chamber's holiday party.

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Middlesex DA's Office Determines K-9 Officer Chris Alberini Legally Justified in Ashland Shooting

 

 

December 12, 2013 — WOBURN – The Middlesex District Attorney’s Office and the Massachusetts State Police assigned to the Middlesex District Attorney’s Office have conducted an investigation into the facts and circumstances of an on-duty officer-involved shooting with a department issued firearm that occurred on July 2, 2013 at 13 Metropolitan Avenue in Ashland and resulted in the death of Andrew Stigliano, 27, of Ashland. 

            The Middlesex District Attorney’s Office, by statute, has the duty and authority to oversee all death investigations in Middlesex County.  As such, the goal of this investigation was to determine if the fatal shooting of Mr. Stigliano by on-duty police officers was legally justified.  File photo, right.

            The investigation into the officer-involved shooting included interviews of all the responding Ashland Police Officers and civilian witnesses; ballistics examination of evidence found at the scene; review of radio transmissions, police reports, and cell phone records; examinations of several cell phones; and review of medical examiner reports and statements. 

            That investigation revealed the following facts:

 

            On July 2, 2013 at approximately 10:50 a.m., an Ashland Police Officer was on patrol in a marked police cruiser on Route 135 West when he observed a vehicle pull into traffic.  The officer was forced to stop to avoid a collision with the vehicle.  The officer recognized the driver as Andrew Stigliano and recalled that he had recently seen Stigliano’s name on the department’s list of individuals with active arrest warrants.  The officer radioed to the station to confirm that the arrest warrants were still active and while doing so, he turned his vehicle around and followed Stigliano onto Metropolitan Avenue. The police dispatcher confirmed there were two active arrest warrants for Stigliano and his address on the warrants was 13 Metropolitan Avenue. The officer observed that Stigliano had just pulled into the driveway of that address. 

               The officer radioed for additional units to respond as backup.  A female passenger in Stigliano’s car exited the vehicle and ran toward the backyard.  Stigliano entered the home.

               Under Massachusetts law, when police possess a valid arrest warrant for a suspect and have a reasonable belief that the suspect is inside his residence, the police may enter the residence to make an arrest without the need for an additional search warrant.

               Additional officers arrived, announced their presence and made demands for Stigliano to open the door and submit to arrest, which went unanswered.  Officers secured the premises and awaited additional assistance including the arrival and deployment of police K-9 handled by Officer Christopher Alberini (File photo with K-9, Dax).  The canine, a passive alert dog, was trained to search for suspects inside of buildings.  Officers once again announced their presence and called for the suspect to answer the door.  They again received no response.  After forcibly entering the residence, two pit bulls were secured in the garage and a third dog was kept secure in a bathroom.  Thereafter, a canine warning was issued and, having received no response, the canine was deployed. 

                  At approximately 11:20 a.m., while Officer Alberini was conducting the search of the first floor of the home with the canine, Ashland Police dispatch received a call from Attorney Joseph Hennessy.  The dispatcher radioed to officers on scene that an attorney was on the line reporting that he was receiving text messages from Stigliano.  The attorney told the dispatcher that officers on scene should “use caution.”  Hennessy told the dispatcher that Stigliano did not mention any weapons but spoke about harming officers.  Officers on scene, including Alberini, confirmed they heard this transmission from dispatch as it was being relayed over the radio.

                 At that time, the dog had a reaction to the scuttle opening up to the attic. Based on the dog’s reaction, as well as his observing a ladder propped up next to the scuttle and a fresh scrape mark by the opening, Officer Alberini believed that Stigliano was hiding in the attic.  Verbal warnings were again issued to the suspect in the attic and no response was received.  The attic was very dark and hot and was unfinished, with exposed insulation, wood beams and no flooring.  The K-9 was deployed into the attic to locate the suspect.                            

                  In the attic, the K-9 alerted and made contact with the suspect by biting Stigliano’s left leg.  Officer Alberini proceeded forward in the dark attic to separate and secure the suspect.  At this time he observed the suspect grabbing the dog’s face and ordered him to release the dog and submit.  As Officer Alberini was preparing to use physical force to separate the dog and the suspect, he noticed Stigliano had let go of the dog with his left hand.  He saw Stigliano pulling his arm up and in his hand was a shotgun. Officer Alberini could see there were live rounds on the butt stock. 

               Confined to a small space with little room to maneuver, Officer Alberini struck Stigliano in the head with his hand, unholstered his department issued weapon, yelled “gun” repeatedly to warn other officers, and instructed Stigliano to drop the gun, which he did not.  Fearing for his safety and the safety of other officers, Officer Alberini discharged two rounds from his weapon while engaged with the suspect.  The first report of “possible shots fired” was made at 11:22:44 a.m.

               After the shots were fired, other officers secured Stigliano’s loaded shotgun and called for an ambulance.  Fire department medics arrived and Stigliano was pronounced dead in the attic at approximately 11:26 a.m. 

               An autopsy was performed on July 3, 2013 by Dr. Renee Robinson of the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner.  The cause of death was determined to be gunshot wounds to the torso.  There were two gunshot wounds to the torso and both bullets were recovered at autopsy. 

               Stigliano’s shotgun that was recovered from the scene was a 16 gauge Ithaca model with one live shot shell in the chamber, four live shot shells in the tubular magazine, and eight live shot shells in the side saddle holder.

               During the investigation, in addition to the text message conversations reported by Attorney Hennessy to dispatch, officials discovered that, unknown to the officers in the house, Stigliano also texted two other people while he was in the attic, expressing to them in more explicit terms his intent to harm and kill officers.  The investigation revealed that Stigliano was aware of the officers’ presence in his home and that he wrote in a text that he was “not going alive.” 

               According to records obtained during the investigation, the following texts were exchanged during the time between when Stigliano entered the home and when the K-9 was deployed into the attic:

 

               Texts between Stigliano’s phone and Attorney Hennessy’s phone:

 

               Stigliano phone: “Get to my house asap cops surrounding it right Now”

               Hennessy phone: “I’m in Foxborough right now not even close to Ashland”

               Stigliano phone: “Damn, its like they new, im taking as many down with me as I can, godspeed sir”

               Hennessy phone: “Don’t do anything stupid”

               Stigliano phone: “Im sick of them destroying my life, this is bullshit, I  can take them all out (expletive) this happy 4th”

               Hennessy phone: “Please do not do anything”

               Hennessy phone: “Can you call me”

               Stigliano phone:  “Then someone help me, or wut choice I have? U tell me, im not going alive, bottom line, n no I cant”

               Hennessy phone: “I’m calling”

               Hennessy phone: “U”

               Hennessy cell calls Stigliano’s cell phone.  Stigliano does not answer.

               Stigliano phone: “Cant answer call police station”

               Hennessy phone “Are you in custody”

               Stigliano phone: “Tell them to leave, kickin door in now”

               Hennessy phone: “R u ok. Do not do Anything that will hurt you in the long run.”

               Hennessy phone: “Andrew please do not do anything stupid”

 

               Records indicate Stigliano also exchanged the following texts with the female who had been the passenger in his vehicle:

 

               Female friend phone: “Its (name deleted), I went to the salon, don’t answer the door.!!!”

               Female friend phone: “Piggy (expletive)”

               Stigliano phone: “Not home”

               Female friend phone: “Good.!!! I love you so much”

               Stigliano phone: “Dude love u, im killin em”

               Female friend phone: “Cop left hahaha”

               Female friend phone: “Don’t get out”

               Female friend phone: “I’m not sure”

               Stigliano phone: “Chk” (Unread)

 

               Also while in the home, Stigliano exchanged the following texts with a male friend:              

 

               Male friend phone: “What’s the deal, cowboy?? I’m dying here.”

               Stigliano phone: “cops are surrounding me”

               Stigliano phone: “Going out with a bang, godspeed”

               Male friend phone: “?”

               Male friend phone: “you (expletive) with me”

 

               Applying the case law pertaining to the use of deadly force to defend oneself to the facts as determined by this investigation, the Middlesex District Attorney’s Office has determined that the use of lethal force by Officer Alberini was justified based on his need to protect himself and his fellow officers from the immediate threat of death or serious bodily harm from Andrew Stigliano. 

               In Massachusetts, a person may use deadly force, as here, to defend himself or another, if the person has reasonable grounds to believe, and actually believes, that he is in imminent danger of death or serious bodily injury, and that no other means would suffice to prevent such harm.  In the totality of these circumstances, Officer Alberini was reasonable in his belief that he was in imminent danger of being shot by Andrew Stigliano. 

               Having investigated and determined that the shooting by the officer was legally justified, we have referred the matter back to the Ashland Police Department, in accordance with the established protocol of the Middlesex District Attorney's Office, so that they may perform an internal administrative review of the incident as they deem appropriate.

Press release from Middlesex DA

 

HOPKINTON SCHOOL COMMITTEE
STRATEGIC PLANNING SURVEY

COMMUNITY INPUT NEEDED
REMINDER – DEADLINE EXTENDED TO DECEMBER 15, 2013

The Hopkinton School Committee is in the process of gathering community input to be used as the foundation for the development of the next five-year Strategic Plan to guide the work of the district. In addition to a series of public focus groups conducted in November, the School Committee is conducting a community wide survey, and has extended the response deadline to accommodate more feedback. The survey opened on December 5, 2013 and will remain open through December 15, 2013.

To take this survey, please click on this link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/Strategic_Plan_survey2013 . This survey should take approximately 15 minutes to complete. The survey is also posted on the front page of the district web site and hard copies of the survey are available at the Hopkinton Public Library, Hopkinton Senior Center, Hopkinton Post Office, and Town Hall in the Town Manager’s Office.
Results of the survey and focus groups will be presented to the School Committee and made available to the public. Please take a few minutes to complete this important survey and share your feedback for consideration in the development of the next Strategic Plan.

 

Love And Intimacy Are What Everyone Wants But Few Can Sustain

I have been a practicing clinical psychologist for many years and in that time I have seen clients from many countries and all walks of life. Despite their diverse backgrounds if I were asked what is the one common, elusive aspect of life that all humans, regardless of circumstance long for, I would have to say sustained intimacy.

Most people can create intimacy initially but few are able to create rich intimacy with a spouse, friends, children and colleagues that is lasting. Regardless of wealth and professional success, in the end if intimacy is missing one’s soul is devoid of the richness closeness provides. When this occurs it creates a desperate sense, a growing uneasiness inside that prevents calmness and ongoing joy.

People start to feel more restless and begin to look for ways to ease the emotional pain caused by the ongoing yearning for love. This state of mind can lead to addictions, depression, anxiety and a persistent sense that life has lost its meaning.

I can always discern the quality of a person’s internal life once I understand the degree of intimacy a particular individual has been able to create and foster. Our self-voice is a critical factor in how we relate to others. Negativity inside usually produces negativity outside in one form or another. Internal doubt can drive people to achieve and over achieve, but no matter how competent individuals are in other areas of life if intimacy is lacking, the spirit of the individual will falter and grow weak over time.

What are the ways you can begin to foster the kind of closeness you desire and deserve?

First of all remember your self-care is an important factor in your ability to be present. If you’re eating poorly, not exercising, abusing alcohol, and not sleeping adequate hours you are probably not in a position to maintain intimacy. If you’re not feeling alive it is hard to listen to those close to you in a manner that conveys interest, patience and a willingness to go beyond the surface of relating.

Knowing how to listen and express empathy are also critical keys to fostering closeness. Listening from an empathic position requires a willingness to enter the world of the other person, while leaving your own preoccupations, biases, and judgments behind. This ability needs to be practiced and improved regularly. It is an art that makes another person feel heard and deeply understood. It is an ability that allows you to truly understand the heart and soul of the person you love.  It is not enough to understand, you must be willing to put your understanding into action, into words and behaviors. Nothing is more powerful in establishing a close bond as being able to listen and respond in the manner I am describing. I have worked with couples on the brink of divorce, and once they have followed this formula consistently they often create a degree of sustained intimacy they have never experienced in their lives.

The Formula

As indicated above you need to establish good self-care habits as this allows you to be in a position to listen and respond on a deeper level that goes beyond the surface to the heart of those you love. In a romantic relationship you also have to develop a mature understanding of sexuality. In the Power of Empathy we stated that “ We touch bodies when we have sex, but we can only touch hearts and souls with empathy guiding the way………what we seek in the sexual experience is not simply the release of tension but the momentary merger of two souls that simultaneously confirms and expands the relationship between us. This is ultimate intimacy, the moment when two hearts and two souls join together as one”.  This powerful experience allows us to feel and be more affectionate as we age, regardless of how our appearances and those of others close to us change.  This occurs as empathy leads us from superficial connections to deep, heart-felt relationships that accept the whole person, imperfections and all. As we learn to accept those we love through expanding our empathic range, we also learn to accept ourselves with our limitations and shortcomings. This process benefits both partners, as living realistically rather than idealistically becomes the norm.

Being able to recognize the emotions of those we love, tuning in to their thoughts and feelings, listening carefully to the words spoken as well as to the silences that accompany the words, observing body movements and facial expressions, while calming oneself so that you can express your own feelings with clarity and tact. These truthful, kindhearted interactions are the basic building blocks that create and sustain friendship, intimacy and love.

This is just a brief overview of how to essentially grow love and intimacy. I welcome your questions and comments, which will hopefully contribute to future articles and discussions that will deepen our understanding of the complexities of love.

Arthur P. Ciaramicoli is a Hopkinton Resident

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Santa's Helpers


December 12, 2013 — Volunteers from Project Just Because loaded up 1,400 toys to bring to the staff at the MetroWest Medical Center and to Milford Hospital for distribution adult and pediatric clients yesterday.

YOUR HOME
 

Keeping Tradition Alive

Evergreen Center Staff, Suzanne Zaki and Mary Nagelschmidt, along with P.J. Rodriguez,

December 12, 2013 — Hopkinton Town Manager Norman Khumalo, left, next to Town Clerk Geri Holland, accept a Christmas wreath from the Evergreen Center of Milford, an annual tradition. The clients make the wreaths each year and deliver them with staff and with pride to town  hall.

      
 

 Much More on:

 

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Updated: August 09, 2016 11:18:30 AM

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