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How Can Newtown Heal?

by Arthur P. Ciaramicoli, Ed.D., Ph.D.

December 17, 2012 — I woke this morning hearing my wife sobbing in another room, as I entered she said, “I can’t stop thinking of those children, I can’t believe it happened, how will those families every recover?” She was asking her psychologist husband, who is supposed to have answers, to help her make sense out of this horrible tragedy. Little did she know I had awakened several times during the night thinking of the parents, the innocent children, and of the families of the adults killed. I wished it was just a horrible, horrible dream. Of course reality sets in and we all left with one of the greatest puzzles of mankind. Why do certain individuals kill the most innocent among us, and somehow believe they are justified in their actions?

The Actions of a Few

I wish I could say something that would lessen the unimaginable pain of the parents and families in Newtown. I only know a few things that may help. One very critical fact is to realize that the man who committed these atrocities was an extremely disturbed individual. We were not born with this kind of rage; we are programmed to do good from the first breath we take. Somehow along the way a few of us develop distorted, if not paranoid thinking, and believe certain misconceptions as if they were the truth. Those who were bullied, molested, hit, and humiliated are more prone to commit violent acts, but very few ever come close to the kind of actions that were perpetrated in Newtown. We must maintain the belief in the goodness of human beings to survive. We are inherently born with the capacity for empathy, compassion and kindness not violence and mayhem.

Can Healing Take Place?

It is difficult if not impossible to imagine parents of these little angels healing. One thing I know is that it cannot take place in isolation. This pain was created by a deranged human being, and can only be healed by the love and compassion of many good hearted human beings. Hate fuels hate, love breeds love and healing. I have seen people heal from multiple tragedies, and I believe as time goes on, if we express love and concern, and particularly listen to those whose pain needs to be heard and understood they will heal. A nation, if not a world is affected by this violence, we need to listen to each other as we are all affected and troubled as a result of this unthinkable tragedy. We also need to spend more time trying to understand what is happening in our culture that makes young men turn into killers.

The Origin of Violence

In general, violence is a reaction to humiliation and abuse. If we rule out medical and physical causes, brain tumors and illnesses that distort reality, we are left with the learning that takes place in our homes and in our culture. Is the fact that we as a society are less empathic, less trusting of our fellow man a cause? Is the fact that our anxiety and depression rates have skyrocketed in recent years a factor? Is our tendency to value image and status over character and relationships a factor? And is our unwillingness to establish more restrictive gun control a factor?

I suspect all of the above our contributors. I obviously don’t know what the contributing factors were in this killers’ life. We know from Columbine or other similar rampages that suffering humiliation is a key factor. It is likely a cause in this devastation as well.

What Can We Do?

We are not helpless. We can each do our part to lessen violence but promoting goodness. We must live with open hearts and open minds. We are a diverse society and becoming more so every day. Look upon diversity as an opportunity to learn about other lifestyles, other belief systems, and new ways of living a better life. We all have opportunities to model calm, thoughtful behavior when in conflict with another. We should all be brave enough to denounce the violation of human rights in all circumstances, small and large. Be a proponent of fairness, of truthful dialogue, and stay away from black and white thinking, and notice the gray between the lines for it is always there. View life as the mystery it is, don’t ever assume you have all the answers, and when you witness demeaning behavior don’t react in kind, but react with clarity and wisdom. Always remember the person with the greatest temper has the greatest insecurities. Bullies aren’t fearless they are fearful.  When we know how to address a person’s fear without being threatening, fear often turns to hurt. Hurt can be worked with and worked through, whereas matching aggression with aggression perpetuates violence and resolution and learning never take place.

Access to Mental Health

In this age of managed care fewer people have access to mental health professionals.  Insurances are more restrictive than ever in providing the mental health coverage many need desperately. Be an advocate of mental health services and when you notice unusual distress in another person suggest that he or she seek treatment, pursue mental health education, or at least schedule a consultation with a provider who can access whether or not treatment is warranted. Psychotherapy and education can help in very significant ways to heal the hurt that left untreated can lead to inappropriate behavior on many levels.

A note to Newtown Families

You have all suffered more than any human being should suffer in a hundred lifetimes. Please know we will pray for you and your lost love, we will not forget you, and know that millions across the world care about you. I only hope you can feel the love and faith many have in you, and in the thought that your lives will again seem worthwhile. You will always be in my and many others prayers.

Arthur P. Ciaramicoli is a Hopkinton resident. Republished with permission from his blog.

 

Who Won the iPad Mini at the Hopkinton Jewelers Drawing?

December 16, 2012 — Above, the Southeastern Massachusetts Community Concert Band performs at St. John's Sunday afternoon. See and hear a bit of their performance as well as the drawing at Hopkinton Jewelers for an iPad Mini. Who won it? See the video below.
   
Resident Artists

December 16, 2012 — Hopkinton Center for the Arts resident artist Kris Waldman, left, chats with fellow artists Cheryl and Jim Rose at their opening Friday evening.

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Senseless Tragedy in Newtown, CT
People are discussing their feelings about how they see the killings  in Newtown Connecticut and what they believe can be done to prevent similar acts in the future. Choose the icon to join the discussion.

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December 16, 2012 — Andrew McMillan is defying gravity in this freeze-frame by John Daley of Friday night's game against Dover-Sherborn.

   

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Gingerbread House

December 15, 2012 — Cornell's Irish Pub looks more like Santa's workshop than a pub as the Scanlons get into the spirit of the season in a big way. The new owners, Ellen and Colm Scanlon, who is a builder, have brightened not only the exterior, but have enlarged the windows and brightened the interior, too, giving the landmark an expansive and homey feel.

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Members Art Show

December 14, 2012  — The Hopkinton Center for the Arts is showing off their talent with a members show that began with a reception this evening, and will continue for public viewing until January 10, 2012.

 

Hopkinton 49, Dover-Sherborn 37

December 14, 2012 — Patrick Ryan goes up for two early on in Friday's game at home against Dover-Sherborn.

 

Hopkinton 57, Dover-Sherborn 35

December 14, 2012 — Above, Holly Adams takes it to the net after a pass from Jenna Hanlon tonight at home against Dover-Sherborn. An astute observer might notice that the video monitor is a few seconds behind the actual play.

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Police Incident/Arrest Log - Most Recent First

 

Updated Friday, December 14, 2012

Arrest Log

Thursday, December 13, 2012

12:02 am Officer John Moran arrested Kristin Laura Recupero, 34, or Conner Court, Attleboro, on West Main Street and charged her with OUI Liquor.


Incident Log

Thursday, December 13, 2012

3:15 pm A caller complained about a vehicle on Main Street.

2:10 pm Officer Stephen Buckley responded to a two car motor vehicle accident without personal injuries on Hayden Rowe Street.

1:14 pm A walk-in from Cedar Street spoke with Officer Stephen Buckley regarding damage to her vehicle.

10:57 am A caller from Mayhew Street reported a suspicious male walking behind their residence wearing a gray hooded sweatshirt and black sweatpants. Three officers checked the area with a negative find.

7:05 am A 911 caller reported a two car motor vehicle accident without personal injury on East Main Street. Officer Stephen Buckley responded and took a report.


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

11:51 pm A caller reported that a person appeared to be passed out behind the wheel of a vehicle on West Main Street. Officer John Moran responded and subsequently arrested a 34 year old female from Attleboro and charged her with OUI Liquor.

8:23 pm A resident of Wood Street complained about nail guns and compressors. Officer William Burchard responded and stated that there was no issue at this time.

5:14 pm Three officers responded to a motor vehicle accident without personal injury on West Main Street.

3:40 pm A walk-in from Wood Street reported that her vehicle was hit by a man holding something on the side of the roadway. Officer Peter Booth responded and viewed the damage that was caused.

11:03 am Officer Stephen Buckley performed community relations on Briarcliff Drive.

10:38 am A walk-in spoke with Officer Thomas Griffin regarding someone dumping a large amount of trash in a dumpster on Wood Street.

8:58 am A walk-in from Hearthstone Road spoke with Officer Stephen Buckley regarding a package that was stolen from their mailbox.

6:55 am Officer John Moran issued a verbal warning for a violation of a town by-law on Parkwood Drive.

6:50 am The Milford Police Department reported a hit and run motor vehicle accident on South Street involving a white van with Florida plates on it. Two officer checked the area but could not locate the vehicle.

12:41 am Officer Linda Higgins checked a secured motor vehicle on South Street.

   

Sick of Pro-gun Arguments

Letter to the editor:

I'm not a gun hobbyist / owner, but I get it. I have friends who are and they've brought me around over the years to respecting their right to have guns and to use them and store them responsibly.

OTOH, I'm really really tired of "slippery slope" arguments which derail compromise in all phases of public discourse. The idea that we can't regulate gun ownership because it starts us down the "slippery slope" toward abolishing all gun ownership rights is nuts (meant without disrespect to my friends who think that).

Today's one of those COME ON PEOPLE moments! Gun activists like to say that if it's a crime to have a gun, then only criminals will have guns. Well, how about this. If any deranged bozo can have legally and or easily have a gun, then there will be LOTS of armed deranged bozos on our streets!

There MUST be a middle ground on this and we MUST find it and implement it. Liberals: we're never going to abolish gun ownership. Forget it. Conservatives: we have a problem. Own up to it.

Come ON, people! Please!

Dick Duggan

38 Priscilla Road

December 14, 2012

 

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National Respect for Victims


"In accordance with President Obama's proclamation, please be advised that Governor Deval L. Patrick has ordered that the United States flag and the Commonwealth flag be lowered to half-staff at all state buildings until sunset on December 18, 2012 as a mark of respect for the victims of the senseless acts of violence perpetrated on December 14, 2012, in Newtown, Connecticut." Note: The order from the Governor includes the seat of government in each municipality.

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 A History of Giving


December 14, 2012 — Class of 2013 President Connor Zanini and Vice President Karissa Collins deliver two car loads of presents to Project Just Because. This is the 3rd year that the Class of 2013 has sponsored a Giving Tree at the high school. We are over whelmed by the generosity of so many. Thank you very much for helping us to help others.

 

Distinguished Service to the Community

Above from left, Rev. Richard Germaine, Mary Pratt, Ronald Clark

 

December 13, 2012 — This evening, the Hopkinton Chamber of Commerce recognized three members of the community for their distinguished service, each in their own way, as a part of their annual tradition at their holiday party at the Hopkinton Country Club.

           Rev, Richard Germaine, some thought, would be the last pastor hired for the First Congregational Church of Hopkinton in 1972, inasmuch as the membership had dwindled to 35 people. Instead, Pastor Germaine grew the church's membership to new heights. He spearheaded expansion projects at the former Main Street location as the fellowship grew, and built a ministry large enough to accommodate the need for the 80,000 square foot complex now known as the Faith Community Church of Hopkinton. Rev. Germaine said this evening,  when asked his role in the church, "I pastor pastors," traveling to other parts of the country to teach others how to minster.

            Mary Pratt has been recognized for her commitments to children with learning disabilities, for working with various state committees for regional planning, and was instrumental in the design of open space development in Hopkinton. Mrs. Pratt is also well known for her terms on the Board of Selectmen, and for attending and participating for years at most meetings of the Planning Board, as well as other Town Boards.

             Ronald Clark, a businessman who served ten years on the Planning Board while coaching basketball and volunteering for Little League at the same time is also credited with reviving the Babe Ruth League in Hopkinton.  He was for a time the Chair of the Community Preservation Commission. Mr. Clark is perhaps most well-recognized for his two terms as a member of the Hopkinton Board of Selectmen, where he also served as chair and demonstrated an ability to retain most facts that passed his way.

 

Green Thumb

December 13, 2012 — — Merylyn Mezitt of the Hopkinton Garden Club, seen through the barren branches, makes sure that visitors get a good impression of the gateway to Downtown Hopkinton.

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Duck Shoot

December 13, 2012 — These Canada geese, accompanied by a sea gull, a mallard and a few mute swans still have their bills tucked into their wings at noontime today, turning the adage about the early bird on its head.

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Yearly Tradition

December 13, 2012 — Today, Evergreen Center staff and students visited Hopkinton Town Hall staff, including Town Manager Norman Khumalo, Operation's Assistant Jamie Hellen and Assistant Town Clerk Geri Holland to present a beautifully decorated Christmas Wreath for the holidays. Building Inspector Chuck Kadlik immediately placed the wreath at the Town Hall entrance after the presentation!  Residents should pop by and take a quick look at the beautiful wreath!

 

The Evergreen Center was founded in 1982 by Dr. Robert F. Littleton, Jr. to provide day and residential treatment services for children and adolescents with severe developmental disabilities. Evergreen's standard for successful instruction is social competence and community participation. They believe children will develop to their maximum potential when instruction is woven through daily activities and living environments.

   

$10K holiday donation helps spread positive message

at Hopkinton High School

Hopkinton High School students (left to right): Robert Cusanelli, Nick Casassa, Colin O’Rourke and Kyle Clark display a winning “Be Positive” attitude as well as the popular T-shirt worn by students throughout the year.

 

An anonymous donor has contributed $10,000 to the Tom Weaver Be Positive (B+) Memorial Fund which each year awards four $1,500 scholarships to deserving seniors helping them with their educational pursuits beyond high school.

 

The scholarship fund was established nearly three years ago to honor the memory of Tom Weaver, a former Hopkinton High School student-athlete who died in 2010 after a courageous battle with cancer.  Tom always maintained a happy and positive outlook on life despite his extreme personal challenges.  He was an inspiration to his peers as well as teachers and staff and everyone who knew him.

 

Some of his key messages?  Always display a winning attitude.  Wake up every day full of hope and feeling positive, and a winning attitude is important to success in all aspects of life.

 

The “Be Positive” message continues to resonate at the school today spreading a message of goodwill among students.  Several “B+ Days” are held throughout the year in which the students wear commemorative T-shirts with the B+ logo and are asked to think about and share positive messages with each other throughout the day.  In addition, several student-sponsored fundraising events honor his memory and support the fund such as the annual Alumni Lacrosse Tournament held in the spring.

 

 The next school-wide B+ Day is Friday, December 21 – before students break for the holidays – and this month also a newly formed “Be Positive” club, co-founded by junior Katherine Taggart and senior Jill Lary, will have its first meeting.

 

“It’s truly a unique, one of a kind experience we are trying to create for our students.  If the message of hope helps one person in the school think differently about their situation or even reach for new and higher goals then we have done our job and we have done it well,” says Evan Bishop, interim principal. 

 

Individual and group donations to the scholarship fund have ranged from as little as $10 to as much as $10,000 and have motivated others to take action in many creative ways.

 

Recently, for instance, the Hopkinton High School Class of 2002 – marking their 10th reunion in November and inspired by Tom’s story and the meaning behind his legacy -- made a generous $600 donation in honor of former classmates RJ Penney and Brandon Showalter, who have since passed away. “We believe Tommy shared some of the same characteristics as RJ and Brandon, and we really wanted to help a deserving HHS senior pay for college in their honor,” they wrote in announcing their gift.

 

To date, four $1,500 awards have been handed out to Hopkinton students in the last two years.  If you, your family or friends would like to make a tax-deductible contribution, send your donation today to:  The Tom Weaver “Be Positive (B+)” Memorial Fund, c/o Hopkinton Athletics Booster Club, P.O. Box 33, Hopkinton, MA 01748. 

 

All proceeds directly benefit the scholarship fund and future Hillers. Include your name and address and receive a free Be Positive (B+) T-shirt as a gift of thanks.

 

Want a shirt?

Make a donation today and receive one free or purchase your commemorative Be Positive (B+) T-shirt at the high school Boosters store during holiday hours listed on the web site www.hopkintonboosters.com. Shirts are $10 each and available in a range of colors and sizes.  Of special note, additional small and medium sizes have just arrived in traditional Hiller green and popular tie dye colors.

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Statue of Virgin Mary Unearthed at Golden Pond Construction site
 

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Two's Company

December 12, 2012 — Two mute swans were among a larger group taking advantage of tall growing weeds, just beneath the surface of the northern end of Lake Maspenock, its most shallow.

 

 

Auditions for ESL Show Baby on January 2

  

HOPKINTON, MA (December 12, 2012) --- Enter Stage Left Theater will be hosting auditions for the musical Baby on January 2, 2013 at the HCA Farmhouse.  Auditions are by appointment and can be scheduled by emailing Sandee Buckley at sandeezmail312@yahoo.com.  Those auditioning are asked to come with a 32 bar cut Musical Theater piece, copies of sheet music for both themselves and the accompanist, and headshots and resumes. Songs from the show preferred if interested in a major role.  Rehearsals will be held on Sunday afternoons and Monday and Wednesday evenings (depending on role); and performances will be on March 15, 16 and 17 and possibly March 22 and 23.

 

Baby is about three couples who are newly expecting a child, with different but familiar reactions.   Lizzie and Danny are university juniors who have just moved in together; athletic Pam and her husband, Nick, a sports instructor, are in their 30s and have had some trouble conceiving; and middle-aged Arlene, already the mother of three grown daughters, is unsure of what to do and is contemplating abortion while her husband Alan is thrilled with the thought of a new baby.  Baby’s book is by Sybille Pearson, based on a story developed with Susan Yankowitz, music by David Shire, and lyrics by Richard Maltby, Jr.

 

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 Donald F. Hart, Sr., 80

 

HOPKINTON – Donald F. Hart, Sr., 80, died peacefully surrounded by his loving family on Monday, December 10, 2012. He was the loving and devoted husband of Patricia A. (DeCoff) Hart, to whom he was married for 60 years. Born in Natick, he was the son of the late Raymond and Esther (Doherty) Hart.  

He attended Natick High School, served his country during the Korean War, and was a member of the American Legion and Kiwanis Club.  He was a master plumber and the proud owner of Hart’s Plumbing and Heating.

 

While working and raising six children, Don still found time to be involved with the Hopkinton Youth Hockey Program. He enjoyed spending time with his children and grandchildren. Don was an avid skier, boater, hunter, golfer and enjoyed many vacations on Lake Sunapee. In his later years he could usually be found in his car with a set of golf clubs and his beloved chocolate lab, Tootsie.

 

In addition to his wife, he is survived by his daughter Dawn Ann Elder and her husband Paul of Hopkinton; his son and namesake Donald F. Hart Jr. and his wife Isabel of Hopkinton; his daughter Kathleen M. Williamson and her husband Steven of Hopkinton; his daughter Karen E. Ward of Framingham; his son James J. Hart and his wife Victoria of Hopkinton; and his daughter Jennifer J. Hart of Hopkinton. He leaves his legacy of 14 grandchildren and four great grandchildren. He is predeceased by his two brothers, Joseph and Robert.

 

Visiting hours will be held Friday, December 14th  at the Callanan Cronin Funeral Home, 34 Church Street, Hopkinton from 3:00 to 7:00 pm.  A funeral Mass will be celebrated at St. John the Evangelist Church, Hopkinton at 10:00 a.m.  Saturday, December 15th. Burial with military honors will follow at Mt. Auburn Cemetery, Hopkinton.

 

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to The Alzheimer’s Association, 311 Arsenal Street, Watertown, MA 02472.

   

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Police Incident/Arrest Log - Most Recent First

Updated Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Arrest Log

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

8:37 pm 
Officer Peter Booth arrested Steven M. Bettencourt, 26, of Church Street, Hopkinton, on Church Street for a Warrant.

Incident Log

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

11:33 pm
 Officer Linda Higgins assisted the Southborough Police Department with a female prisoner on Main Street.

9:31 pm
 A caller from Wood Street reported that a person was working in his garage with power tools. Officer Aaron O'Neil responded and stated that he was working on his car and was not noisy.
6:24 pm
 Officer Peter Booth stopped a motor vehicle on Church Street and subsequently arrested a 26 year old male from Hopkinton for a Warrant.
2:50 pm
 Officer Aaron O'Neil investigated a hit and run motor vehicle accident on West Main Street.
3:07 pm
 There were multiple 911 calls for a two car motor vehicle accident with personal injuries on East Main Street. Four officers responded to assist.
11:51 am
 Officer Gregg DeBoer reported seeing a bus collide with a tree on Ash Street. Three officers responded and assisted the Fire Department.
2:19 am
 Officer John Moran checked a parked motor vehicle on McDermott Lane.
2:01 am
 Officer Linda Higgins checked a motor vehicle that was parked on Saddle Hill Road.
1:56 am
 Officer John Moran checked a parked motor vehicle on Clinton Street.


Monday, December 10, 2012

4:55 pm
 Officer Peter Booth checked and spoke with the operator of a motor vehicle on Spring Street.
12:49 pm
 Officer Gregg DeBoer assisted the Fire Department with a fire on Tailside Lane.
10:47 am
 The Ashland Police Department reported that they were at a crash site on the town line and believed the vehicle to be belonged to a hit and run of a guardrail and telephone pole in Hopkinton. Officer David Shane responded and issued a complaint application to the operator.
10:03 am
 Officer Gregg DeBoer responded to Rafferty Road to take an animal report.
9:00 am
 Officer Patrick O'Brien assisted a disabled motor vehicle on West Main Street.
7:06 am
 The bus dispatch reported that a bus had an accident on Granite Street, which had 30-35 kids on board of it. Officer Patrick O'Brien responded and advised that there were no injuries.

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Class of 2007 5 Year Reunion

Saturday, December 22nd at 7PM

at Owen O'Leary's in Southborough. 


 CONTACT: 
Patrick Olson  pcolson8@yahoo.com . President - Class of 2007

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